Too Afraid to Play?

While I loved the high stakes involved in Iron Man mode of XCOM: Enemy Unknown, an unfortunate consequence manifested itself after repeated unsuccessful campaigns -- I became so afraid to fail that I haven't revisited nor completed what I selected as my 2012 GotY.

Having read enough to know not to name characters from my Xbox friends list, I made my way through famous soccer players (matched with country of origin), Cincinnati Bengals, characters from the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, and most recently, and with some success, favorites (later dipping into the obscure) from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.. <<cue trumpet fanfare>>.

My forces were leveled up, covered all classes, tech was researched and developed. My base fully operational. But there were just enough losses that hurt. Bonba Fett with 70+ kills in twenty missions. I turned to SHIV thinking less attachment meant more expendable. Unfortunately, SHIV replacements were ultimately not as effective as a real soldier and really was a sub-standard heavy.

I made it to the point where I cleared a campaign hurdle. For the most part, I rarely felt overmatched against the alien enemies. The fear is there are hours of gameplay and repeated gameplay to get where I am. The last thing I want is to run into a terror mission and face a batch of chryssalids. Or worse, see a 90% hit rate miss and find myself on the wrong end of a tactical situation that seems like was played correctly.

Ultimately, in the back of my mind, I know this attempt is the last go I'll give this game. Sure, I suppose a lot of this trepidation can be taken care of by not playing Iron Man mode. But in a game where such high stakes was a big attraction and basis for the game's tension, it seems like playing it any other way is playing a different game.

And that's the thing, the game's identity is tied most significantly to its difficulty. It is the love/hate that inspires the enthusiasm for XCOM, the punishing tasks that reward with waves of relief and satisfaction. Tactical at its core, the game's pace often favors prudence and strategic positioning, cover and wait.

If there is a flaw in the game, it is with the perceived fairness or lack thereof concerning expected outcomes. When so much time is spent on making the right move(s), resentment grows beyond mere acceptance of "that's just XCOM" explanations. Even more so considering that losses can be not only great but permanent.

And so there I was.. in fact, here I am. I haven't touched the game since January and I'm still not sure if I will venture back. It is a game that I want to put the notch in my belt, a true badge of honor. But do I risk the frustration, will it sour my opinion of the game to jump back in and lose? Does the uncompleted pile of shame weigh more heavily than the pile of games that can't be beaten? It's hard to say. Maybe I'll just tee up another round of Tiger Woods while I try to decide.

 

Posted with Blogsy